Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for January, 2012

Good at the End

Friday, January 13, 2012


This past Tuesday my niece Cristy, a nurse, locked herself in the bathroom of her Florida home. With my sister, Melanie out in the living room playing Clue with her seven-year-old son, Luke, Cristy killed herself. Both Luke and my sister Mel stood by and watched in helpless horror when the paramedics arrived and used the paddles that failed to shock Cristy’s abandoned body back to life. You, me, Cristy, Mel and Luke share a common thread … we deeply and intimately know suffering from the inside out.

It is that intimate knowing that ties us together. And it will continue to tie us together even when the thread sometimes seems pretty thin or we forget we’re even connected at all. Just because we forget that the air we breathe is all around us, doesn’t make the air any less present or real. And just because we might forget the love that powers the human heart, and let Wild Mind generate all kinds of crazy-shit fearful thinking temporarily blocking heart-awareness, doesn’t mean our hearts aren’t still continually connected and powered by love.

But it’s not JUST the suffering that is our common tie, of course. It is our commitment to work to relieve that suffering, both in ourselves and on behalf of others that insistently and persistently ties and connects us. Because suffering knows suffering, we share a deep, common intimacy. That’s just the way it is. And the way it will continue to be. 

I’m a firm believer in doing my best to open and receive the mirror-gifts the universe decides to send our way. The Universe has sent us each other. And for good reason. If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would wake up like I do, at 3AM most every night, smiling and ready to charge into the day. Viewing yourself through my eyes, you would see this incredibly courageous person, willing to do what so few other people in the world are not – willing to turn towards the beast of suffering and confront it head on. That is such a very, very rare quality in the world. While so many people are looking outside themselves and looking for and finding all the ways the world isn’t measuring up, turning their hearts and minds away from the essential shame so many of us deeply feel, you’re busy looking inside and doing your best to grapple with the demons you find continually springing to life in there. And you’re learning to befriend them. To welcome and embrace them as old familiar friends, as just part of the constellation of energies that make you who you uniquely are. It’s that willingness, to say what’s true for you and to continually grow into being able to discern and ask for what you want, from yourself and from others, that makes you a really rare human being – a truth-teller, willing to stare shame and shadow in the face and make them your bitch. In doing so, you become someone who can be trusted. And what you can be trusted to do in telling people the truth, is hang in there in the service of trying to relieve shame, relieve blame, relieve suffering. You are precisely the kind of person that any sane person would absolutely want in their life.

Below is a list of positive human qualities. Take a look at it. An honest look. How many of those qualities do you find showing up in yourself in any given week? An honest look has to have you checking off quite a few of those qualities. After you go through the list, simply realize that the opposite of many of those qualities also lives in you, is a part of you. They are simply part of what makes you, me, and everyone else … human. And we all deserve to be loved and forgiven for being human.

On this day I am honored to celebrate our humanity, our dark humanity and our light humanity, acknowledging and moving through this first cycle of Good at the Beginning, Good in the Middle, and Good at the End.

Love,
Mark

Positive Qualitities

Able

Eager

Kind

Rational

Accepting

Easy-going

Learning

Realistic

Accurate

Efficient

Leisurely

Reasonable

Adaptable

Empathic

Light-hearted

Reflective

Adventurous

Energetic

Likable

Relaxed

Affectionate

Enterprising

Logical

Reliable

Alert

Enthusiastic

Lovable

Reserved

Ambitious

Fair-minded

Loving

Resourceful

Artistic

Faithful

Mature

Responsible

Assertive

Fit

Merry

Robust

Broad-minded

Free

Mild

Sexy

Calm

Friendly

Moderate

Sincere

Capable

Fulfilled

Modest

Sociable

Candid

Funny

Natural

Special

Careful

Generous

Neat

Spontaneous

Caring

Gentle

Non-judgemental

Spunky

Cautious

Glad

Nurturing

Stable

Charming

Good-natured

Open-minded

Strong

Cheerful

Growing

Optimistic

Tactful

Childlike

Happy

Organized

Talented

Clear-thinking

Healthy

Original

Tenacious

Clever

Helpful

Outgoing

Thankful

Compassionate

Honest

Patient

Thorough

Competent

Hopeful

Peaceful

Tolerant

Confident

Humorous

Persevering

Trusting

Conscientious

Idealistic

Persistent

Trustworthy

Considerate

Imaginative

Pleasant

Understanding

Cooperative

Independent

Polite

Uninhibited

Courageous

Individualistic

Positive

Uniqu

Creative

Industrious

Practical

Versatile

Curious

Informal

Precise

Warm

Dependable

Ingenious

Progressive

Whole

Determined

Intelligent

Punctual

Witty

Dynamic

Inventive

Quiet

Zany 

Read Full Post »